The other side of HUGE | CONTROVERSY

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There are a number of “absolutes” in life and one that stands out with respect to HUGE is: there are two sides to everything. And even as I type the words “two sides” a question rises up above me like a cartoon bubble…  

 Why is it we always have to take sides?

 

What would the world feel and look like   

if we tried to see each other’s points of view?  

You know—the kind of world where  

people join hands and are tolerant?  

Yeah that world…

What does any of this have to do with the TV show HUGE?  

Before I go there I need to share something about looking for images…I was limited while searching for clip art to write my piece (pictures above) do you know that I could not find one photo that was of average looking people? Now, I need to be clear—I did not search Google Images or Lightbox. This is simply clip-art that comes with the word processing program that I use on my computer.  

In photo #1—  Cute white boys (sorry girls I guess tug of war is a boys game, and if you are a person of color? Nope, not you either)—all the boys pictured would be considered average body weight for their age (if you are an overweight child I guess you don’t play tug of war either).  

  Photo #2— Beautiful boys and girls depicting togetherness.  Getting better—at least now everyone isn’t only white. But one might surmise that people carrying extra pounds, don’t want togetherness.  

Oh and when I asked for a picture of a “fat” person?  

 

WOW…I guess “fat” people don’t get their faces in the picture and one might think based on this depiction that all fat people are: male, inactive, and…well you decide.

 

Do you see how absurd all this is?

NOW…What this has to do with HUGE:  

Apparently there has been a line drawn in the sand.  

A line that seemingly was drawn by  

Mimi Roth of Action Against Obesity  

during an interview broad casted on  

CNN’s Showbiz Tonight   

   

Just in case you missed it:  

KAREEN WYNTER: Bodacious actress Nikki Blonsky is once again making a big splash in Hollywood and offering no apologies for being, well, she said it, fat . It`s not just her scantily clad scenes where she strips down to a bra that has anti-obesity critics like Mimi Roth cringing.

Really?…did she just say that watching an overweight woman bare her skin is alarming and, that I, as a viewer, should feel as if I am amusing myself by watching her playing the character…of a girl at camp? Oh and that I should somehow muster up the same emotions I felt when watching the Karen Carpenter Story?  

Thank goodness Showbiz Tonight had the sense to interview Nicky Blonsky next:  

NICKY BLONSKY: When I see propaganda that I know is destroying girls` brains, it is my duty as an angry feminist to destroy it. 

KAREEN WYNTER: Don`t expect an extreme makeover. Blonsky`s character, Wilhelmina smuggles in snacks and sells them to other overweight kids. She eventually smartens up and starts making healthy choices. As for “Huge`s” ad campaign, Blonsky says she is the perfect poster child for those who packed on the pounds.

NICKY BLONSKY: By no way, shape or form are they putting out a bad message. Everybody sees skinny girls in a bathing suit. That`s the norm. You open any magazine, it`s there. Nobody has ever had a plus-sized girl on the cover in a bathing suit. 

 

KAREEN WYNTER: But “Action Against Obesity’s” Mimi Roth says Blonsky is no role model, that living large means living on the edge.

MIMI ROTH: It has become commonplace to see obesity, yet it doesn`t make it any less dangerous. Anyone who cares anything for her as an actress or as a human being should be alarmed and wanting to intervene, just as if she were starving herself.

 

Commonplace? Not sure how commonplace seeing overweight teenagers starring in situational comedies is…last I checked most of what is aired is—well, like the clip-art I mentioned.

It is a known fact that America is battling with a weight problem but hiding obesity is not going to create a healthier society. Bringing the issues to the forefront and providing a platform to create real conversation and awareness has opportunities that are far more reaching then simply standing in opposition to obesity.

 

KAREEN WYNTER: You don`t feel like you`re being exploited or - 

NICKY BLONSKY: Not any chance, because I feel so privileged that it was me, that I`m the first one to be out there. Here I am, world. I`m in a one-piece. Take it or leave it. I don`t care. I`m just comfortable with me. If I was a size zero, it would be against who I am.    

KAREEN WYNTER: And who she is a healthy representation of society, says author and self-esteem expert Jess Weiner. 

JESSICA WEINER, AUTHOR AND SELF-ESTEEM EXPERT: I knew that this was a conversation started about women and girls everywhere had to have. This population that I work with was going to just want to see these characters succeed because that is a reflection of them in their every day lives. 

KAREEN WYNTER: Lives ABC Family hopes will become more enriched, adding, quote, “If it leaves audiences thinking and talking about these important issues, we couldn`t be more proud.”

 Together over the past three weeks with two of my children I have watched the season premier of HUGE.  The show has been the catalyst for some very interesting conversations—at the end of each episode armed with the conversation guides provided by Jess Weiner we have deconstructed the show.   

The conversations have run the spectrum: social issues, discrimination, negative self-talk, obesity, health issues, empathy, boy/girl dynamics, attitudes, what we expect from a leader, quitting, trying over, family dynamics, surrender, standing up for what you believe, being your own person, feeling comfortable in your own skin, asking for help, communication….and a list of other apparently “alarming” kinds of things.   

 

KAREEN WYNTER: How does this make you feel, Nikki?

NICKY BLONSKY: Amazing – to write what they feel, “You only live once.” These are beautiful words.    

    

The Live Huge Tour, Summer 2010

  

 KAREEN WYNTER: There are also PSA`s airing in each episode, linking viewers to “ABC Family.com” where experts like activist and author, Katherine Schwarzenegger, daughter of this famous dad, blogged about body image.

KATHERINE SCHWARZENEGGER: People need to just own what they have, need to rock what they have got is the title of my book. If they are confident in themselves, there`s nothing more, nothing better than that that you can have.

KAREEN WYNTER: As for critics concerned that “Huge” is serving up unhealthy programming - 

MIMI ROTH: No reason to glamorize obesity or hold it up as a health and beauty ideal.   

    

Interesting, somehow to me I don’t see bringing real life issues to the family rooms across America as the same thing as “glamorizing obesity nor holding it up as a beauty ideal”—   

Are we watching the same program? Last I checked all these teenagers were enrolled in a “fat” camp to help them focus on choices that seek to improve their health and emotional well being: exercise, group discussions, meal planning, and conquering personal fears during a time in life that is unmistakably confusing.
 

    

KAREEN WYNTER: The show`s supporters say there is a new plus-size population taking over. 

JESS WEINER: This is an evolution and a revolution. I think we have to stir things up.   

   

    

I LOVE THAT! An evolution and a revolution—look around you…we don’t all look alike…sound alike…or think alike. I agree Jess “Let’s stir things up” and put an end to one view of the world on Television. Thank you Nicky Blonsky and cast it is refreshing to see through your eyes and learn yet again that no matter our size, color, or ethnicity, we are all people.    

  

KAREEN WYNTER: Blonsky`s bringing viewers along for the ride.

NICKY BLONSKY: Kids want to see something they can relate to.

KAREEN WYNTER: With a series she says is not just entertaining but empowering and finally puts plump people in the driver`s seat.    
So join the revolution and live your own HUGE life!   

    

Add your HUGE life stoy to the Mosaic Wall

 

HUGE Resources:   

ABC Family Network | HUGE | HUGE FACEBOOK   

     

Jess Weiner | Conversation Guide 1 | Conversation Guide 2 | Conversation Guide 3   

    

     

Katherine Schwarzenegger | Rock What You’ve Got   

   

  

   

  

What Shapes a Life—A Look at ABC’s HUGE

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When I first wrote about HUGE I was focused on HUGE—

As In HUGE People…

I worried that people may not be ready for a show like this—

even if we had asked producers to step out of their

ordinarily small area of focus and create it.

 

In my last HUGE blog post I wrote:

 “As a member of the Actionist Network® a community of professionals committed to creating a nation of confident women and girls, I am dedicated to, among other things, finding media sources that represent life…

REAL life that is. What’s a “Pseudo Life?” you may be thinking. Of course all lives are real.

But more times than not what is depicted for us as viewers of Television and Big Screen is a small view. Kind of like looking into a telescope backward? Things get narrow and really far away.”

 

HUGE has aired twice and candidly I think ABC might actually be on to something thought provoking—beyond the hugeness of the campers.

In episode one, we were introduced to the cast of characters—we learned that each person had arrived at a weight loss camp and their reasons for being there were as different as their personalities.

 

As viewers my own children and I were left with a primary impression—regardless of body size—all people respond to new situations and stress in multiple ways. The more we related to a personality as a viewer the less we saw what a person looked like on the outside and empathized with what they were experiencing on the inside.

 In episode two a number of themes emerged but as a family we connected with two in particular.

 Theme number one—how is a person’s belief in them-self shaped? Theme number two—what does it mean to live a HUGE life?

In order to answer the question in theme number one I contend we need to examine first—the family.

 

“One could surmise that there are an infinite number of ways to define family just based on the knowledge of our world population alone. Family, I have turned this word over and over again and it never looks the same. For some, family is a form of incarceration; for others, it is the inception of freedom, confidence, and liberation.”

–an excerpt from Tornado Warning

 

Families truly can build us up or tear us down. It takes a great deal of confidence to rewind and reconstruct messages from our past that have rendered us shamed and lacking self-esteem. Add being a teenager and that rewinding process can feel insurmountable.

 The main character Will feels she doesn’t measure up with her parents—literally and figuratively. She refers to their swapped knowing glances when she chooses dessert, she states that she is unwilling to let them take credit for the glimmer of happiness she is experiencing at camp, and worst of all she writes that she won’t ever tell them how she feels, and with that rips up her letter.

 Amber calls home only to be reminded that her own mothers’ needs come before her own, thus robbing her of her right to be a child with needs. She feels pressure to be a “best friend” versus simply being allowed to be a daughter.

 Chloe and Alistair are brother and sister. We learn this by watching them meet in secret—sadly Alistair attempts to remind her of their relationship but Chloe, perhaps embarrassed of her brother, blows him off.

 Trent—writes to his deceased mother, a letter that in his mind is overdue but in it he is reaching for praise that she is no longer available to provide.

 Dr. Dorothy Rand, a former camper turned staffer has her own relationship struggle with her mother. A woman whose control runs so deep that even as an adult Dorothy is not at liberty to be honest about her desire to have a relationship with her own father.

 

Damage comes to mind; the incredible damage that can occur when negative messages are given by parents—all of these vignettes are subtle reminders that as parents we need to provide encouragement and support.

 

When does support and encouragement cross the line and become crippling? Enter the Dobson Family. Although well intentioned their hovering sends a message to their daughter that without them she will not be alright. Helicopter parenting  is just what it sounds like: while hovering above a child, helicopter parents are so loud one needs to shout to be heard, one must duck for fear of decapitation, and standing upright becomes nearly impossible due to the strength of the wind created from the props—not really the image one wants in association with a parenting style.

 

It seems to me that HUGE is sending subliminal messages about how teenagers respond to their parents—particularly when they are not seen for who they have become. This is a HUGE win provided we get to see some lessons unfolding for all parties involved.

 One of our favorite aspects to the show HUGE comes from theme number two–the emphasis on living a HUGE life; a life that is filled with your own dreams being cultivated and nurtured—all of which is HUGELY important.

 

Living a HUGE life—what does it mean to you?

Preparing Women to be Victims – Lilly Speaks Out

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“Blown away,” would be the right way to describe how I felt after reading Lilly’s Blog post on the Rachel Simmons Website this morning. It isn’t the first time her words have captivated me either–to refer to Lilly as “astute,” would be a major understatement.

Lilly, who recently graduated high school, shares her observations and thoughts after attending a “Life Skillz Day–for Graduating Seniors,” hosted by her high school. Her message sends a wake up call across the country that I myself, would like to see broad-casted from every possible media forum available.

Until we start looking at violence against women–from why it occurs, to who is perpetrating it–we are doing a disservice to everyone. Violence against women is a human issue, not a gender specific issue.

Read Lillys’ blog–candidly how anyone could argue that we don’t need a paradigm shift regarding how we approach this incidious problem, is beyond my comprehension.

 

Lilly’s Blog: Stop Preparing Women to Be Victims & Start Holding Men Responsible for Violence

By Lilly | June 27th, 2010

Recently, I had a very scary realization. It is easier for us to talk about young women as victims than it is for us discuss the possibility of young men becoming perpetrators or witnesses of violence. It seems to me that, until we change how we think about crimes against young women, we will always be one step behind in a losing battle to make the world safe for women.

A few weeks before I graduated high school, my school organized a day for seniors called “Life Skillz Day.” We were shuttled from one workshop to another where we learned how to watch football, how to sew a button, how not to be awkward. (How awesome is my school?) Some workshops were more serious. One covered sex ed basics and finally we watched a movie about drinking on college campuses.

The movie included helpful hints for young women. One such tip warned girls to never put their drink down at a party for fear of someone slipping a “date rape” drug into the cup. We were also advised to not wear revealing clothes to parties lest we attract the wrong kind of attention. Finally, we learned to always use a buddy system and have a female friend check in with you throughout the night. In the discussion following the movie, my peers and teachers reiterated these ideas. The suggestions, while helpful I suppose, gave me chills.

We were speaking about ways young women can try to avoid being attacked and violated. Yet no one blinked an eye. It is an unforgettable day when girls accept that, when they go to college, they must learn to be constantly aware of the fact that, come Saturday night, the boy sitting next to you in class might become a monster.

It truly saddened me to see my community so matter of factly speak of the ways in which female graduates could find themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time. The tips and tricks did little to empower, rather they confirmed that our society has resigned itself to hosting an insidious culture of violence against women.

Instead of being ushered into a world in which I don’t have to fear being drugged at a party, I am told to arm myself with knowledge of how to surreptitiously cover my drink. That day, it became clear to me that for most it is less painful to admit that one’s female friend and student may be a victim of violence than think that a male friend and student may be the cause or passive witness of such violence. As I looked around the room at my peers and teachers, I wondered, why are we only talking about girls and what they can do to prevent violence? Shouldn’t we be discussing how guys, who have the privilege of not being potential victims, can help?

But in thinking about violence against women, men seem to be conveniently forgotten. In the tragic scenario of violence against women that is read on newscaster’s prompters and relayed in hushed tones, there is one player: the female victim. What she was doing, what she wearing, how much she had drank, there is a disproportionate (and often critical) focus on the victims of violence.

Men never seem to be factored into the equation. It is too scary to talk about the nameless, faceless perpetrators because humanizing that force of violence leads to realizing that the violent man was once a boy sitting in a classroom. And it is too painful to consider that perhaps that boy once sat in a class listening to his female peers being taught to fear. Perhaps they heard the statistics (one out of four women will be sexually assaulted on a college campus). Who is assaulting that one woman and what causes him to act in such a violent manner?

It is time communities started asking these hard questions and stopped accepting violence against women as a fact of life. It is foolish to pretend that it is impossible a student may become a violent young man while resigning one’s self to the likelihood that a female student may become a victim.

Never mind the size or severity of the problem, no issue has ever be remedied while stubbornly ignoring the cause of the problem. With each one-sided, incomplete conversation that only addresses the role of women in violence, my peers are taught to surrender to the inevitability of violence. Inadequate efforts to raise awareness about this issue only contribute to a failing paradigm of preparation (cover your cup) instead of prevention.

Finally, by omitting the role of men from discussions about violence against women, young men are given permission to be complacent bystanders. The message sent to my male peers during the workshop was that violence is between women and shadowy figures. It is a profound privilege to live without fear of being attacked or violated, a privilege more than half of the world lives without. Yet men are rarely expected to use their privilege to help others. If only more young men were taught as my brothers were that it is their responsibility to be good to women and to ensure that their peers follow suit.Where are all the good men at these parties? Again and again, young men seem to become silent bystanders when they are needed most. It is a dangerous and seldom recognized pattern.

Until we become as comfortable thinking about male complacency as we are contemplating female victimhood, violence against women will remain a “women’s issue.” Ask young men to talk about the pressures they face to be unfailingly macho, constantly sexual and perpetually aggressive. Ask young men to reflect upon the moments they witnessed sexism. Ask young men to explore the ways in which they can be active allies and supportive members of the movement to stop violence. Suddenly, violence against women is a human issue. Suddenly, we’re getting somewhere.

Thank you to both Lilly and Rachel for allowing me to share Lilly’s Blog.