Boy to Man; Finding Our Ultimate Purpose

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This is a speech my son Kodiak wrote for his English Class-he is 13

Boy to Man; Finding Our Ultimate Purpose
Written by, Kodiak Waldal

Based on a Department of Justice statistic, analysis conducted in the years 1976-2005, discovered that 64.8% of victims murdered by intimate partners were women.¹ Some may say that this is because in most cases the male in the situation is stronger than the female; however, all one must do is obtain a lethal weapon such as a gun or knife and this person can kill the other person as they sleep.
The majority of people out there would like the world to be less violent, in order to achieve a culture that is non-violent I assert that the paradigm shift needs to begin with how we raise boys to men.

Let’s begin by looking at what it means to be a man from both a practical and mythological standpoint. Mythological Man: Macho, tough, dominant, controlling, assertive, and powerful. Like a shark, our mythological man destructs whatever it can and believes it is just part of nature. In addition, some sharks eat their own young as the younger shark becomes an older and potential threat. A mythological man models for their children that the man of the house is in control beyond dispute. In this household the man bases his entire existence on what he has power over it would not occur to him that a point of view that differs from his own is worthy of consideration. He rules the household with the mindset that crying is for sissies and boys need to be tough. Additionally he expects that anything domestic would be taken care of by the females in the family. In short, leave the real thinking to the man.

The Practical Man: Nurturing, loving, responsible, sensitive, listens, intelligent, protective, and hard-working. This man is a lion, peaceful, loving, and nurturing to its family and will do anything to protect its family. The practical man’s household is an example of collaboration between all family members. The man and woman as heads of the household are on equal ground and therefore the children live an example of give and take. The house is run more democratically and each person’s perspective is seen as valuable not threatening.

In order to truly achieve peace the world must see all people as worthy of basic human rights. Perhaps a country which embraces that all men are created equal will be the country that demonstrates the first steps toward non-violence. In addition we must understand that when Thomas Jefferson said, ‘MEN’ he implied ‘PEOPLE,’ meaning everyone. If we are born equal then one could reason that no person has the right to dominate another.

The mythological man resolves conflict through bullying and in some cases violence but really the conflict is not resolved it is snuffed out. The practical man seeks to understand another’s point of view and looks to reach a peaceful solution that works for all members of the family.

The odds of being murdered are eighteen thousand to one, versus becoming a professional athlete which is twenty-two thousand to one.² Sadly a person stands a better chance of being killed then achieving physical success. Moreover if you are a woman this statistic is even more daunting because more men achieve professional athletic status then women.

In society our practical man is a good husband, is one who practices fidelity, he also takes responsibility for the financial and emotional well being of his children, he views his relationship with his wife as a partnership and understands that time spent together is as, if not more, valuable as his earning power. In contrast the mythological man may, abuse his wife, view his career as all encompassing and more important than the emotional well being of his family, and may ultimately abandon his responsibilities to his wife and children.

My mother is a survivor of Teen Dating Violence and at the time of her victimization fear bound her to remain with her boyfriend. Day after day my mother was led to believe that she would be killed if she were to attempt to break off the relationship all of which made her own purpose in life feel diminished. The individual who perpetrated the violence was weak; there is no way that anyone could call him a man.

Anyone can overpower something regardless of their size, for example, a boy who is raised with violence would be more apt to be cruel to a small animal which he can overpower then not, and later repeat the cycle of violence by turning into a man who abuses his own wife.

The issue at hand is choice; exercising mental strength and compassion over physical strength is a major component for being a practical man. In life a person can control one thing, what they do, and how they respond. In every situation a person controls their actions and reactions, influence yes, but never control. The more we can breed a society of people, who seek to understand other points of views and hold themselves accountable for their behavior, the closer we will get to developing a culture that rejects violence as a means to resolve problems.

The human body, if nourished, will grow to its full potential; the mind however is only stretched as much as we allow it. A person is not grown up until they recognize their own humanity and truly understand their ultimate purpose. A life purpose is different for everyone; however what we share in common is a commitment to non-violence.

We must ask ourselves, why am I here?
We must ask ourselves, what is my ultimate purpose in life?
We must ask ourselves, do I want a good life for family and friends, or me?
We must ask ourselves, what can I do to change my surroundings and make the world a better place?
If we can find an answer that incorporates a non-violent solution we will live in a better place. If we can begin raising boys to be loving and mentally strong I surmise we will meet that goal.

¹ Department of Justice (http://www.ovw.usdoj.gov/docs/qa-factsheet.pdf).
²(http://funny2.com/odds.htm).